Sunday, June 15, 2014

Father's Day.

It’s Father’s Day, a day when my heart aches for my son whose father didn’t know how to be a dad, and my own father who didn’t know how to overcome his despair.  My son mailed a Father’s Day card to me in the hopes that I could somehow get it to his dad. We divorced when the kids were in elementary school. His dad may or may not know that our son is in prison because I couldn’t locate him to tell him.  Once we divorced, his father made a half-hearted effort to be a real father and spend time with his kids and teach them all of the things fathers teach their kids.  As the kids grew older though, he just slowly disappeared from their life.  I don’t think that it’s because he didn’t love them, I think he just didn’t know how to have any kind of committed, on-going relationship with anyone, not me, and not his kids.  He never even bothered to call them or send them a card on their birthday after they reached their teens.  I always wondered how things would have been different if he had stayed more involved in their lives, but maybe nothing would have been different, that’s something I’ll never know. 

 What makes me proud today is the fact that my son is reaching out to a dad who never really reached out to him. My son has risen above, forgiven his father, and wants to reestablish a relationship.  After much searching and snooping around I located his dad and will get the card to him this week.  I hope that he chooses to reconnect with our son, so he can see for himself how he is maturing and trying his best to learn from his mistakes.  Here’s where I have to remember my powerlessness over this situation.  I can’t make his dad go see him, and I can’t fix their relationship, only he can do that.  I also can’t guarantee that his dad won’t go see him and condemn him for his addiction, and for the mistakes he has made.  So, I’m just handing this right over to the Lord, and trusting that things will work out just as they should.

I do pray that all of the father’s of addicts out there can find some peace and happiness today.  Being a father is the most important job you will ever have, and I hope your kids can appreciate that.  Happy Father's Day.

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