When my kids were little and would have nightmares, I used “Monster Spray” to chase away their fears. Monster Spray was really just an empty bottle of hairspray that I had decorated and labeled. It usually worked like magic. A couple of spritzes of Monster Spray under their bed and around their bedrooms chased away all of the scary monsters that stole their sleep. Now they’ve grown up and their monsters, and mine, are so much bigger than the imaginary creatures that lived under the bed.
Tomorrow my son starts inpatient rehab. He will have many monsters to face and try to conquer as he fights a battle for his life against addiction. I have my own monsters to deal with too. My monster is fear. The fear of what will happen as my son fights his battle. This time I can’t come to his rescue with Monster Spray, nor will it free me from my fear. Now is the time that I will have to practice “letting go, and letting God” with every ounce of faith I can muster. I have to accept that I can’t fix him, or save him from his monsters, only he has that power.
I know many of you who are reading this have been where I am already, maybe more than once. You’ve had good experiences and bad experiences. You’ve survived them all, and that is what gives me hope and courage to face this new path on our journey. Your stories, and the compassion and understanding you offer are my Monster Spray. I learn from them all, the good, the bad, and the ugly.
My life is getting very busy again, as I get my classroom ready for a new group of students, so I may not post as often. I will be reading your updates daily though, following your journey, and holding you in my thoughts and prayers.