I was typing a response to a kind comment Erin had left on a previous post, and after I wrote it I started really thinking about what I had said. In essence what I wrote was, that I have to trust God with my son’s recovery because He loves my son even more than I do. When things have seemed crazy and out of control, I sometimes forget that God sees the big picture and I only see my very small corner. He understands our pain. He weeps when we weep, and rejoices with us in even our smallest victories over the pain of this life. We are not alone.
One thing I really need to get into my head is that I am not in control of the universe. I cannot control my son’s or anybody else’s choices. I have a really hard time with that. The only real peace I have found in the past few months comes when I have been able to realize that my son’s recovery, or non-recovery, is up to him and then just letting go.