I was typing a response to a kind comment Erin had left on a
previous post, and after I wrote it I started really thinking about what I had
said. In essence what I wrote was, that I
have to trust God with my son’s recovery because He loves my son even more than
I do. When things have seemed crazy and
out of control, I sometimes forget that God sees the big picture and I only see
my very small corner. He understands our
pain. He weeps when we weep, and rejoices with us in even our smallest victories
over the pain of this life. We are not
alone.
One thing I
really need to get into my head is that I am not in control of the
universe. I cannot control my son’s or
anybody else’s choices. I have a really
hard time with that. The only real peace I have found in the past few months
comes when I have been able to realize that my son’s recovery, or
non-recovery, is up to him and then just
letting go.
This is such a good reminder for me, as well. It is absolutely one of the hardest things to do. Even harder, it seems, when we feel at our lowest and everything seems so scary and dark.
ReplyDeleteI like to watch Joel Osteen and Joyce Meyer and it never fails during those times when I am feeling so lost and afraid, they offer something so timely that seems tailor made for me. That is the hand of God...and instantly I feel better.
I hope you are enjoying a nice morning. Thanks again for your kind post yesterday. It meant alot!
Summer
Joel Osteen and Joyce Meyer are two of my favorites. There have been so many times that I have listened to them and they have spoken directly to the problem I was dealing with. God has a way of getting His message to us if we're willing to listen.
DeleteI hope things are ok with your mom. I've been praying for you and your family.
This is just so true. I've been dealing with this for about four years, the heroin/opiate part, three years prior it was more acid, robot ripping and drinking. It is still a real struggle for me to get out of the way and let God have his way with my son. As I was praying and thinking about this last night I believe God led me to the webpage below and it just confirms to me that I really really need to let go once and for all. My son will be in drug court in a few weeks he was arrested for a 2nd aggravated DWI and they also found used needles in his car. The court has him going to probation for drug testing twice a week and also we have a sobrietor in the house he has to blow into three times a day. My gut feeling is that he isn't serious about recovery even with drug court looming in the background and the fact that he will serve time in jail if he screws up, which would mean he would lose his job. It was really torturing me mentally and you know I fell back into the pattern of trying to convince him to do this, that and the other thing all the while I know God was saying let go, give him to me, you cannot control this. I have to do that several times a day when a wave of anxiety will hit and I start obsessing, It sure is a process. Check out the website below, I think you will enjoy the article. Thanks for the great reminder that God is ever present in our circumstances we need only to step back, take a deep breath and let Him work.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.nacronline.com/wordpress/172/what-i-learned-while-our-son-was-still-using-drugs
You are so right about this whole thing being a process. I think when we come through on the other side though, we will have learned so much, and maybe even be able to help others with what we have learned. If only it weren't so painful.
DeleteThanks for the website. I plan to check it out this evening. Take care, Erin.