So, last night I was driving home from an Alanon meeting,
feeling better from the loving support I received there. All of a sudden a Third Day song “Children of God,” came on the radio. That song triggered one of the fondest
recent memories I have of my son. About
a year ago he and I went to a Third Day concert, and I remembered them playing
that song. As we listened to them sing
“Children of God” I looked at my son and reminded him that he, too, is a child
of God. He smiled, that smile I love so
much. The smile that pretty much
disappeared from his face as the addiction took over. After hearing the song on
the radio I cried the rest of the way home.
When I got home I sat in the car in the garage thinking that I have got
to figure out a way to find “me” again.
Just “me,” not the mother-of-an-addict.
Somehow
this constant sadness has to stop. I used to be a pretty happy person who
smiled and laughed a lot. It used to take a lot to make me cry. I keep remembering my oldest daughter telling
me that she didn’t want her brother’s addiction to “take the rest of the family
down.” I can’t let that
happen. My mom is my inspiration and has
had much pain in her life, my dad’s suicide, my brother and sister’s deaths at
a young age. Through it all she kept a
strong faith in God, and somehow managed to keep her sense of humor. If she can manage to live through all of that
and still enjoy life, surely I can too.
Here’s my
plan. I am going to try my best every
day to remind myself to:
· Laugh (I have some funny videos saved in my YouTube favorites to help me with this. The courtroom scene with Jim Carey in the movie “Liar, Liar” does it every time. The comedian Brian Regan makes me laugh too.) I want to learn to laugh again.
· Make someone smile
· Give a hug
· Find at least 5 things to be grateful for
· Go outside and marvel at the beauty of nature
· Get some exercise (well, ok, maybe not every day on this one, but at least 4-5 days a week)
· During the school year I will remind my students every day that they are special and important, especially the ones who need to hear it most
· Meditate (I’ve been doing this lately, and it helps relieve stress)
So, there’s my plan.
Now all I have to do is stick to it.
Remember the children’s story about the little engine who could? I think I can, I think I can, I think I can…………
I love your plan! Especially the "make someone smile and taking time to marvel at the beauty of nature". It's pretty amazing to see the impact we can have on someone else's life simply by being kind. There is no greater reward, I think. Anyway, I'm so proud of you for coming up with a plan. I hope today was a great kick off to a new, healthier, you!
ReplyDeleteHave a good night,
Summer
Thanks, Summer. I'm working on it.
ReplyDeleteBlessings to you.