Last week was a busy week, some of it happy, some of it sad. I read a book that contains daily thoughts and wisdom about loving an addict. One of the readings last week stated that we can “choose” to be happy whether the addict in our life is actively using or not. I have a long way to go with that, but I’m working on it. I know I am not much use to my son or anyone else in my life if I can’t manage to make peace with the path we are on now. He is an addict. He is in jail. It is what it is.
I know that choosing happiness will be easier some days than others, and there will be days when I fail, but I’m going to try my best. “Fun” really hasn’t been in my vocabulary since I learned of my son’s addiction and arrest. I think it’s important to remember to have fun sometimes. So, when I got the chance to see James Taylor in concert last Thursday, I went for it. Seeing James Taylor has been a dream of mine since I was 16. He was AMAZING! He sang for 2 1/2 hours, and sounded just as good as he did 40 years ago. I kept looking at him and thinking, “I can’t believe that I’m sitting here watching James Taylor.” For three blissful hours, I enjoyed myself, and “chose” happiness. Just for awhile I was 16 again, without a care in the world. I could close my eyes and imagine that I was, once again, that naïve teenager with my long hair hanging halfway down my back, wearing an ankle length skirt, sandals, a white gauze blouse, a headband, a peace symbol necklace dangling on a thin strap of leather around my neck, swaying to the music. It felt good. It reminded me of how much I miss having fun.
I pray that the Lord will help all of us open the gift He left us. I know that it is only with His help that I will be able to choose happiness again.
"I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid."
~ John 14:27, NLT