Saturday, July 14, 2012

Life doesn't always go as planned


We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned,
so as to have the life that is waiting for us.
The old skin has to be shed before the new one can come.
- Joseph Campbell
            This quote really caused me to stop and think about life in general.  Things often don’t turn out as we’ve planned.  Sometimes it’s just small things, like a recipe that doesn’t turn out right, or a lunch date that falls through.  I’m usually pretty flexible and roll with the punches without a lot of fuss.  I teach first graders, so if you’re not willing to be flexible in a classroom of 6-7 year olds, you’re not going to last long.  Things can change in the blink of an eye, and often do.

            Being willing to let go of the life I’d dreamed about for my son has been one of the hardest things I’ve had to do though.  I’m still working on acceptance on a daily basis.  As our kids grow up we have certain dreams for them, we see their potential and their talents and we imagine what type of career they will have, what type of person they’ll marry and what their kids will be like.  I had all of these dreams for my son.  I haven’t given up on the dreams, but they’re definitely on hold for a few years.

            I feel like God is using this trial to shape us and mold us into who we were meant to be.  I know I’m learning lessons I wouldn’t have learned without all of this.  Lessons about not judging others, compassion, patience, and forgiveness.  My son is too.
            Shedding the old skin hurts like h** , but I guess it has to be done before the new one can come.

7 comments:

  1. It really does change who we are. I never gave much thought to drugs or drug related crimes, aside from my job, because it was so far removed from my life. I think the outside world would be shocked to see the real faces of drugs and their family members. I used to only see the train wrecks left behind from mothers who were crack whores and dads who were serving life for gang related crimes. I really thought the kids raised from that were the only ones affected by drugs, the only ones who turned to drugs. Wow, how naive was I? It really does hit every walk of life and I have been completely humbled by all of this. I don't know if I can believe that everything happens for a reason when it comes to our addict kids but one thing I know for sure is that God has taught me one heck of a lesson in being a more compassionate human being.

    Praying that, one day, we will all see those dreams for our kids come true.

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    1. So true. Even though my dad was an alcoholic, I had no idea of the enormity of the problem of addiction until I learned my son was an addict and I started educating myself about it. I suppose I had the same stereotype of the "type" of families addicts came from. I guess a lot of parents in general tend to do the same thing because it somehow makes us feel "safe." I was actually naive enough to think because I followed protocol and talked to my son about the dangers of drug use that he would choose not to use! Yeah, I was naive too.
      Thank you for your continued prayers, and your comments. I always appreciate them. Praying for you and your son too.

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  2. The inside looking out give us a whole different perspective for sure. I too, feel very humbled.

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    1. Thanks, Sheri. This surely has to be one of the most humbling experiences that life hands us.

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  3. it does hurt like h___. I am having a really hard day today.

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    1. I am so sorry, Barbara. The pain that addiction causes is so overwhelming at times. Praying for you and Keven every day.

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  4. I really like the idea of shedding the old skin to get the new--it seems hopeful somehow. We don't know what the new skin will be like but we know we are going to get it. Guess it all comes down to Faith. Thank you for sharing this.

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