Feeling of Isolation

Being the parent of an addict can be very lonely. Addiction is the only disease in which not only do the parents tend to blame themselves, but so do others who don’t know the nature of the beast. I’ve done my share of self-blame, but I’m working on it.  I could drive myself crazy with the “what ifs” and “should haves” but that wouldn’t do my son or me a bit of good.   I don’t know about the rest of you, but I just don’t talk about what is going on with my son outside of Alanon, my immediate family, and this blog.  I have found that unless a person has first-hand experience parenting an addict, they just don’t get it.  My husband is my son's step-dad, and it's so strange when I'm around his family for get- togethers lately,  everyone knows about my son's recent arrest but nobody mentions it.  I know it's because they just don't know what to say, but it's like the big elephant in the room that nobody wants to talk about.   Even the people who show compassion really can’t understand unless they’ve walked in our shoes.  So, I just don’t talk about it.  I want to thank the followers who take time out to read my posts because I know that most of you have been there, done that, and know how it feels.  We all share the same broken hearts.  That in itself, takes away some of my feeling of isolation. 

            I printed a copy of the following poem and took it to my son when I visited him in jail, but I also want to share it with all of you.  I reread it today and realized that not only does it apply to the addicts, but to the parents of the addicts as well.  May it bring you comfort as it did me.

God Will Take Care of You

May your troubled heart
find peace and comfort in the knowledge
that you are never alone.
May God's presence ease
your trembling spirit and give you rest.
He knows how you feel.
He is ever aware of your circumstances
and ready to be your strength,
your grace, and your peace.
He is there to cast sunlight
into all of your darkened shadows,
to send encouragement through the love
of friends and family, and
to replace your weariness with new hope.

God is your stronghold,
and with Him as your guide,
you need never be afraid.
No circumstances can block His love.
No grief is too hard for Him to bear.
No task is too difficult
for Him to complete.
When what you are feeling
is simply too deep for words
and nothing anyone does or says
can provide you with the relief you need,
God understands.
He is your provider --
today, tomorrow, and always.
And He loves you.
Cast all of your cares on Him...
  and believe.

     -- Linda E. Knight