June 1, 2012
My son sent me a message around 2:00 in the morning. He was letting me know he was ok, and that he wanted to go to a 12 step meeting with me. He said he’d be in contact with me. Last night I went to the meeting alone. He didn’t contact me, nor have I heard from him since. I know that God is speaking to him, and that somewhere underneath the addiction is my son. The son who knows what he is doing is wrong, and will either land him in jail, a hospital, or dead. Addiction is pure evil. It takes over a person’s life to the point that nothing else matters, not family, not jobs, not even life. I read a comment in one of the addiction blogs I follow advising the parent to give up and go on with her own life. I may not be able to offer my son a place to live anymore, but I will never give up hope. With my last breath, if he is still using, I will be praying that he finds his way back to the Lord and gets clean. I cling to hope like a life preserver in a sea of addiction. It’s all I have.